Monthly Archives: June 2013

Why Marriage Equality Will Financially Ruin California’s Gay and Lesbian Community

SAN FRANCISCO (Chafed News) – The gay and lesbian community and they’re supporters across California celebrated the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) decision to turn away the case involving California’s same-sex ban, known as Proposition 8, affectively legalizing marriage for gay and lesbian couples in nation’s most populous state.  However, while most gay […]

Fight Breaks Out After Interviewer Laughs at Applicant’s Resume

PITTSBURGH, PA (Chafed News) – Police responded to a call from the offices of Aero-Dynamo Co. after a fight broke out during a job interview.  Witnesses say, John Dashpos was in the middle of interviewing Adam Taguser when the two men came to blows.  “I was sitting in my cube playing Minesweeper, like I usually do, […]

Paula Deen: “I Never Called Anyone an ‘N-Word’ Who Didn’t Deserve It”

SAVANNAH, GA (Chafed News) – Embroiled celebrity chef Paula Deen denies she ever told racial jokes, but she did acknowledge using the “N-word,” according to her deposition in a lawsuit.  Deen was deposed as a result of a lawsuit brought about by a former employee who is suing Deen and her brother for sexual and […]

Serena Williams Apologizes for Comments Made about Steubenville Rape Victim: “I’m Not All That Bright”

STEUBENVILLE, OH (Chafed News) –  Famed tennis player Serena Williams came under fire after she was quoted in an upcoming Rolling Stone article criticizing a sixteen-year-old rape victim from Steubenville, Ohio, suggesting the victim wasn’t a virgin and implied the victim shouldn’t have gotten drunk. Williams issued a statement on her blog, saying in part: […]

Shitty Father’s Day Picture Reminds Man Why He Hates His Son

HUDSON COUNTY, NJ (Chafed News) – Speaking from the stoop of his front porch, Howard Robertson, a 42 year-old, lifelong Hudson County resident, told reporters that Father’s Day, while enjoyed by some, simply served as a reminder as to why he hates his “good-for-nothing” son.  “I was looking forward to it.  Really I was.  After […]

Steven Spielberg Bums Out Film Students

LOS ANGELES, CA (Chafed News) – While speaking to students at the University of Southern California (USC), famed movie director Steven Spielberg predicted the “implosion” of the film industry.  Spielberg said many factors will lead to the inevitable implosion, including the financial failures of big budget movies and the rise of free internet video services […]

Zimmerman Attorney on Jury Selection: “Harder than Expected to Find Really Ignorant People”

SANFORD, FL (Chafed News) – As the jury selection for the second-degree murder trial of George Zimmerman crawls along, attorneys on both sides look to quicken the pace and finalize the six jurors, plus four alternates, who will ultimately decide the fate of the Florida neighborhood watch volunteer accused of murdering teen Trayvon Martin. “Jury […]