Feds End Fight to Keep Age Restrictions on Plan B Sales, Teenage Sluts Rejoice

Sluts celebrate Plan B

DENVER, CO (Chafed News) – The Obama administration announced it would not pursue an appeal against a federal judge’s ruling which will allow for the Plan B One-Step pill (AKA the morning after pill) to be sold over the counter, without a prescription and regardless of age.  The news of the announcement reverberated in slut communities across the nation, resulting in throngs of teenage sluts flooding city streets in celebration.  “Finally, the Obama administration did the right thing!” exclaimed sixteen-year-old high school cheerleader and self-proclaimed slut, Brandi Morgan.  “At last, I can fuck without consequences, and I couldn’t be more happier!”

Doctor Susanne Humphries, head of prenatal care at the University of Colorado Hospital, says the announcement benefits more than just the slut community.  “Of course underage sluts will benefit the most from the (Obama) administration’s decision not to press on with the appeal,” Dr. Humphries said.  “But there are others who benefit as well.  Think of all of the parents of all these sluts who won’t have to raise their daughters’ bastard children.  Think of the all the deadbeat fathers, who themselves may be underage, who will not be financially burdened by their undoubtedly unwanted children.  Think of all the friends of the underage sluts who won’t have to talk behind their slut friends’ backs as they watch them getting big and fat due to their pregnancy.  There are countless other examples of people who will benefit from underage sluts having access to the Plan B One-Step pill and I truly feel this change of heart from the federal government benefits America as a whole.”

The Plan B One-Step pill will be available in stores across the nation pending approval from the Food and Drug Administration which is estimated to take six to twelve months.


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