PITTSBURGH, PA (Chafed News) – Police responded to a call from the offices of Aero-Dynamo Co. after a fight broke out during a job interview. Witnesses say, John Dashpos was in the middle of interviewing Adam Taguser when the two men came to blows. “I was sitting in my cube playing Minesweeper, like I usually do, when I hear John (Dashpos) start laughing hysterically,” eyewitness Janine Ungood said. “Then, I hear the guy interviewing for the job (Adam Taguser) say ‘F-You, mother-F’er. And then, pow! After that, the two were fighting. Really it was great, ’cause Mondays are usually so boring ’round here. It (the fight) brought some much needed excitement to the office which I definitely appreciated.”
Adam Taguser, says the altercation started after John Dashpos laughed at his resume. “Okay, so I’m sitting in the interview and this old dude was asking dumb generic questions like, What are your strengths? What are you weaknesses? That kind of shit. Then, for the first time he pulls out my resume and immediately he starts chuckling. He says to me with a big grin across his stupid face, ‘So, I see you went to Cal State, Stan-is-laus? What is that some kind of online school?’ I told him it was part of the California State University system, located in Northern California but he looked all confused and shrugged like, ‘If you say so.’ Then he asked me about my major which was anthropology. Trying not to laugh, he’s all, ‘And how exactly has studying anthropology at Stan-slaus prepared you for a job in the aerospace industry?’ At this point I knew he was fucking with me but I kept my cool. I told him it helped me to understand the intricacies of human nature which I know is complete bull-shit but I thought it sounded pretty good. Then he started grinning again and I could tell he was about to start cracking up. He asks again, ‘But specifically, how did studying anthropology prepare you for this job.’ Now keep in mind, I wasn’t applying to fly a spaceship or anything; the damn job was to be some sort of office drone, paper pusher. So I said, ‘Well, it helped me become a better reader and writer,’ at which point he just starts laughing- hard. I know I made some bad choices by attending a school no one has ever heard of and studying a subject that is worthless to every employer in the world. Trust me, I regret it every day- but I don’t deserve to be laughed at for it… So, I punch him. And that’s what happened.”
John Dashpos, says he couldn’t help but laugh. “I wasn’t trying to be a dick but the very idea that someone would study anthropology at some crappy school no one has ever heard of and expect to get a job just struck me as hilarious- so I laughed. But seriously, I didn’t mean to hurt the young man’s (Taguser’s) feelings but he really should be more prepared for people to laugh in his face when he tells them where he went to school and what he studied. Honestly, I’d hire the kid had he not gone to college at all; but, knowing that he went to that school and studied anthropology, well, I just don’t feel comfortable hiring someone who thinks that was a smart thing to do.”
No charges were filed as a result of the altercation.
Adam Taguser is purported to still be looking for a job but has limited his search to big box stores such as Target and Wal-Mart where he hopes they will overlook his resume and academic history.
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