Anthony Weiner Claims His Penis is “Awesome”

Weiner and wife

NEW YORK CITY (Chafed News) – Anthony Weiner, who in 2011 resigned from the United States Congress in shame after it became known that he had sexted photos of his penis, has admitted that he continued sexting photos of his penis even after resigning from congress.  During a press conference to address the new sexting revelations, Weiner, who is currently running for mayor of New York City, said he continued sexting photos of his penis because he thinks it (his penis) is “awesome” and “just wanted to show it off.”  With his wife- Huma Abedin by his side, Weiner said in part: “Hey, if your penis was as spectacular as mine is, you’d be sending pictures of it to strange women you met on the internet too.”  Weiner went on to say: “I’m not a total idiot- okay?  I know that some people out there think that photographing your penis and sending those photos to women you’ve never even met is disgusting, but, I mean, c’mon.  Look at this thing- It’s fucking awesome!”   When asked if he planned on pulling out of the NYC mayoral race, Weiner said:  “Why would I pull out?  I’m obviously not shy about my penis.  I fucking love this thing.  New Yorkers would be lucky to have me and my penis run this town.”  Weiner went on to say, “What?  You think Bloomberg’s hasn’t taken a few pics of his dick in his day?  Please… I’m sure ole Bloomberg’s taken plenty of cock shots in his time and he’s done a damn fine job running this place.”

Weiner’s wife, Huma Abedin, a longtime close aide to Hillary Rodham Clinton, said that while she was “disappointed” by her husband’s sexting, she stands by her husband.  “Listen, Anthony (Weiner) is quite obviously an idiot.  I mean, who takes photos of their junk and sends it to strange women they meet on Twitter?   But, just because he’s an idiot, it doesn’t mean he can’t be a great mayor, or at least a pretty good one.”  When asked what she thinks of his penis Abedin said in part: “It’s okay, I guess.  I mean, I’ve seen better.  Trust me, it’s not nearly as great as Anthony thinks it is.  But with that said, I want the voters to remember that the quality of Anthony’s penis really will have little to no bearing on his performance as the mayor of our nation’s greatest city and I truly believe that.”

NOTE:  As of press time, Weiner reiterated that he has no intentions of pulling out of the NYC mayor race and will continue his campaign as scheduled.

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One comment

  1. Itolions Stalli0ns · · Reply

    Weiner did it virtually. Clinton did it in her mouth. Spitzer paid for it. Only Stallion Rudy got her to take it in for free, with his kids watching!

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