Protests Erupt after Pope Francis Declares he Won’t “Judge” Gays

Pope Protests

Vatican City (Chafed News) – Protests erupted outside the walls of Vatican City after Pope Francis declared that he will not “judge” gays.  In a statement to reporters Pope Francis said in part: “If someone is gay and searches for the lord, who am I to judge?”

The Pope’s declaration was met with confusion amongst many Church loyalists who have spent their whole lives judging gays.  Jerry Brontonovich, an American tourist who took part in the protests said he is “flabbergasted” by the Pope’s comments.  “I’m baffled by the Pope’s kindness towards the gays.  Actually I’m more than baffled.  I’m flabbergasted!  Honestly, who does he think he is anyway?  This sort of kindness toward everybody needs to be stopped before it gets outta hand.  What’s next- respect for other religions?  I’m mean c’mon.  That’s just crazy.”  Another protester who wished to remain anonymous said in part: “Like a good Catholic, I’ve spent my whole life judging gay people.  Now this guy (the Pope) goes and says he’s not gonna judge ‘em (the gays).  That goes against everything I know about the Church and its teachings.  I know the bible says ‘Love thy neighbor,’ but this is ridiculous.”

A spokesman for the Vatican released a statement later in the day which reads in part:  “The Pope’s decision not to judge gays is his and his alone.  The Church as an institution will continue to judge the gays, lesbians, and a whole slew of other people including women, weirdoes, freaks, non-Catholics, and basically everybody else.  So please remain calm and rest assured that there is still plenty of judging going on around here.  Thank you and God Bless.”

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