Category HEALTH

Feds End Fight to Keep Age Restrictions on Plan B Sales, Teenage Sluts Rejoice

DENVER, CO (Chafed News) – The Obama administration announced it would not pursue an appeal against a federal judge’s ruling which will allow for the Plan B One-Step pill (AKA the morning after pill) to be sold over the counter, without a prescription and regardless of age.  The news of the announcement reverberated in slut […]

Study Confirms Children Disgusting

MATTSBURY, OH (Chafed News)– A study conducted by University of Ohio at Mattsbury finds that children, regardless of how cute their parents think they are, are almost always disgusting.  Professor Lisa Varnmar, head of child development research at Univ. of Ohio at Mattsbury says the study confirms beliefs already held by most of the general […]

CDC Issues Warning After Fourth Man Dies From ‘Extreme Doodling’

SPOKANE, WA (Chafed News)–  The Center for Disease Control (CDC) has issued a warning against ‘extreme doodling‘ after a Spokane area man died earlier this week, making it the fourth death linked to ‘extreme doodling’ this year.  Spokesman for the CDC, Joseph Donnuci, says the practice of extreme doodling, while not new, has reached epidemic […]