Category INTERNATIONAL

Egypt’s Morsi Out, Shitty Military Government In

CAIRO, EGYPT (Chafed News) –  After several days of protests across Egypt, the top military commander announced on television that the Egyptian President, Mohamed Morsi had “failed to meet the demands of the Egyptian people,” and thusly was removed from his position as president.  The news of Morsi’s removal was greeted with widespread celebration across […]

Syrian Army and Rebel Forces Engage in Temporary Ceasefire to Watch Tony Awards

DAMASCUS, SYRIA (Chafed News)– In a rare moment of peace in Syria, both rebel and Syrian government forces agreed to temporarily halt fighting to watch the 2013 Tony Awards.  “This agreement to stop fighting during the Tony Awards went off without a hitch,” said Nazir Farashi, acting cultural minister for the Syrian Rebel Alliance.  When asked […]

Man Struck by Lightning After Calling the Virgin Mary a Cunt

LIMA, PERU (Chafed News)– A man in Peru was reportedly stuck by lighting just moments after allegedly calling the Virgin Mary, “a cunt.”  The incident happened in the small village of Ayacucho located in southern Peru.  Eye witnesses say the man, Piero Apaza, was drinking heavily at the time and shouting profanities at onlookers when he […]