Category LOCAL

Fight Breaks Out After Interviewer Laughs at Applicant’s Resume

PITTSBURGH, PA (Chafed News) – Police responded to a call from the offices of Aero-Dynamo Co. after a fight broke out during a job interview.  Witnesses say, John Dashpos was in the middle of interviewing Adam Taguser when the two men came to blows.  “I was sitting in my cube playing Minesweeper, like I usually do, […]

Shitty Father’s Day Picture Reminds Man Why He Hates His Son

HUDSON COUNTY, NJ (Chafed News) – Speaking from the stoop of his front porch, Howard Robertson, a 42 year-old, lifelong Hudson County resident, told reporters that Father’s Day, while enjoyed by some, simply served as a reminder as to why he hates his “good-for-nothing” son.  “I was looking forward to it.  Really I was.  After […]

Weirdo Down the Street Nicer than Expected

MINNEAPOLIS, MN (Chafed News)–   Carl Womack, a 58-year-old Minneapolis area resident, says he is “happy,” after hearing his neighbors no longer consider him just, ‘the weirdo down the street.’  As it turns out, they also consider him, ‘nice.’   “Honestly, I’m through the roof about it,” Womack said when asked about the recent revelation.  […]

Child Slapped at Memorial Day BBQ Had it Coming

NEW HAVEN, CT (Chafed News)–  Six year old, Tyler Hubbard was slapped by his mother Tracy Hubbard while the two were attending the annual Memorial Day block party and BBQ held on South Cherry Street in North New Haven.  Onlookers say Tyler was being very disruptive and is said to have sassed his mother at […]

City Elects Openly Retarded Woman to Office

HYSSOP COUNTY, MD (Chafed News)–  It was a contentious race from the beginning but after all the votes have been counted, Marcy Killinger, the first openly retarded woman to run for city council, has been declared the winner, receiving 53 percent of the vote. “I welcome it,” local businessman Jim Randle said after hearing the […]

Unemployed Man Abandons Unsuccessful YouTube Channel to Concentrate on Blogging, Wife Furious

LONG BEACH, CA (Chafed News)–  Joseph King, unemployed for over eighteen months, has announced he is taking an official hiatus from his YouTube channel, “Joseph King USA,” to concentrate fully on blogging.  “Hey, Joseph King USA was down right hilarious,” Mr. King declared when questioned about the announcement.  “The problem wasn’t that the videos I […]